From the Mouths of Babes [...Comes Weird Stuff]

Kids are full of gold nuggets. No, not chicken nuggets [although....yes, okay, chicken nuggets too]. Gold nuggets of hilarity that they spew with such earnest wonder that you can't help but pee yourself a little. Twitter accounts like Reasons My Son is Crying have reached new heights of cyber-popularity because we all love to laugh along with the mental connections these crazy kids make and then throw out into the world. So, because we love you and we love to laugh, let us introduce From the Mouths of Babes, our new regular feature. It goes a little something like this:

1. Our kid says weird stuff.
2. We write it down.
3. Once a month we post it all here.
4. You do the same, and share the ridiculousness yours come up with, too.

Deal? Here we go.

[Mommy and Daddy are having an animated conversation]
Toddler: *runs in between Mommy and Daddy, strikes a pose*
Toddler: Don't fight, just dance!
[side note: pretty sure this is my new mantra]

Toddler: *spinning in circles, genuinely thrilled*
Toddler: Mommy, your house is so wonderful!
Toddler: *jumping up and down*
Toddler:...And I get to live in it!

[Playing tag with Mommy and Daddy]
Toddler: *stops*
Toddler: *huffing and puffing* I'm too old to run.

Toddler: *steals mom's spot in bed, decides she needs to act like mommy so daddy doesn't get wise to her ruse*
Toddler: Rub me. It's hot. My back hurts.

[Trick or treating]
Toddler: *rings doorbell*
Toddler: They're not answering, daddy!
Daddy: Maybe they can't hear the doorbell because they're on the potty.
Toddler: *rings bell again, bangs on door*
Toddler: *turns around in a huff, stomps away from porch*
Toddler: *looks over her shoulder at the house*
Toddler: [yelling passive aggressively] People on the potty DONT HAVE EARS!

[7am, toddler wakes up, gets out of bed, runs into living room to find Daddy]
Toddler: Daddy! I just woke up SO HARD!

Toddler: *in the middle of a full-blown hysterical meltdown*
Mommy: Boo, what can I do to make you happy?
Toddler: I don't wanna be happy! I just wanna cry!

What LOL moments has your tiny terror given you lately? Share them in the comments!


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