Gift Guide: Your Newborn Who Still Looks Like an Angry Walnut But For Whom You Would Feel Guilty Not Buying Anything

Welcome to Gift Guide Week! Once That Other Holiday clears out tomorrow, it's a dead sprint to Christmas, and sometimes a few days of gift-giving mental block is the difference between scoring the perfect present and every. stinking. Hatchimal. being sold out. If you've been reading for a bit, you know we're probably not gonna recommend Hatchimals in these gift guides. We're shooting for unique, timeless gifts [not the ones your kid will lose interest in the second it's out of its egg] that may be a little less obvious. Up on the docket we've got toddlers and partners, but today, let's kick things off with the impossible-to-buy-for newborn.

Lacking basic language skills? Unable to hold held up due to underdeveloped neck muscles? Has no idea where he is? Still gotta get him a gift. How rude! Don't even worry about it though: we've got you covered.

1. Origami Boat bath toy, $17.99: Made from 100% natural rubber and beautifully simple, at first these sweet toys will be a great exercise in grasping for your little earthworm. Give it a few months, though, and bath time will be much more lively with their Old & Carol armada.

2. Campy soldier rattle, $20: This year, our family's general holiday outfit theme is nutcrackers and toy soldiers, and this little guy fits the bill perfectly.

3. A keepsake security blanket, $21.60 [on sale]: With an option to add a lovingly hand-stitched name and on-trend velvet trim, this is a home-run for sure. Anyone else still have their baby blanket tucked away somewhere? If so, you know how much mileage your newbie will get out of this sucker. [No? Just me? Awkward.]

4. Kale rubber teether, $16.99: Online retailers are struggling to keep this teething toy in stock and in one word I can tell you why: hipsters. And yes, I admit I've already bought this for my soon-to-be-born son. It's hysterical, and may be the only time your babe willingly eats their vegetables for the next few years.

5. A luxurious pacifier:
Pop pacifier, $18.99 for a pack of 2 [available in three different color packs]: Not only do these one-piece pacifiers soothe my naturally anxious Mama Bear brain, I love the modern look of one bold color, and you'll appreciate the fact that they pop closed when dropped once your tiny terror enters the "throws everything in sight" phase.

Equally recommended if the Pop isn't your thing: the Crunchy Mom status symbol Natursutten, $9.99. They're damn near impossible to track down in 0-6 months, though, so get 'em while you can!

6. A hysterical swaddle, $48: If you're going to endure the hell that is attempting to swaddle a wriggly slippery baby human, you may as well laugh while you do it, and fondly remember the days that your Chipotle order was your biggest concern, rather than keeping another person alive.

7. A playmat that doesn't suck, $95: I would say this is the #1 item on my baby wishlist. You already know I hate mass-produced, primary-colored plastic-y yuck, and that makes finding a playmat for tummy time and other floor-based adventures a bit difficult. But man, oh man, this organic-shaped, handmade in Europe beauty makes my heart skip a beat.

8. Baby shampoo and body wash that's a step up from Johnsons Head-to-Toe, $10 each: Don't get me wrong; my first kid exclusively used Johnsons for an embarrassingly long time.  But doesn't something about organic, essential oil-infused baby bath products just make you feel extra parent-y and self-righteous? Seriously, though, give me that overpriced baby shampoo now so I can feel successful.

9. A fun burp cloth, $10: Burp cloths, by and large, are available in one of three yawn-inducing stereotypical baby colors, or in a saccharine, cutesy pattern. Bump that. Give me a bold, modern cow to throw over my shoulder and let that undercooked person yak all over any day.

10. A graspy, chewy, rubber toy [that your dogs might enjoy, too, should they get ahold of it], $18: You can also find these in Raspberry Red [the color we opted for] or natural rubber colors, and the fun pattern makes me wanna play with 'em too. 

11. A timeless wooden toy that can be passed down for generations [as long as nobody loses any of the damn pieces], $49.99: This was my daughter's pick for her Christmas present to her new brother. Girl's got expensive taste. But Grimm's wooden toys are some of our very favorites, and they stand up to rough play enough for my kids to pass them on to their own kids one day- so I'll chalk that up to a solid investment.

What other must-haves are on your list for a brand new person? Let us know in the comments, or just feel free to mail them to our house! [Just kidding. Sort of.]

If you missed our gift guide for you, check out parts 1, 2, and 3

Happy Thanksgiving, momsters! 


Leave a comment